The dog ate my homework.

Dearest readers,

Traffic was a nightmare.

I have promised you would have Part Deux by the end of the week, and I will tell you that it’s essentially written but just needs editing. But then something came up. Yeah. I had to…uh…someone got…uh…I was called into work. Yeah. Work. An emergency. And I had to drive in rush hour, and there were three – no, four…uh…five! Five accidents. Yeah, five accidents on the way. It took forever!

 

I certainly didn't swim at the office!

And then when I was at work, I was given so many things to do! It was just work, work, work. One thing right after the next. Honestly, you’d think they’d pay me extra for coming in during vacation to dust the file cabinets and organize the leftover paper plates and sugar packets from office parties past. A girl has to make a living after all! I drew the line at massaging the boss’ feet though.

 

Don't let it fool you into thinking it was a waterfall. It was really a blizzard. Really.

And then, as if that weren’t bad enough, my…uh…my car! It broke down and so I had to walk all the way home. Uphill. In the, um, snow. Yes, I know it’s August in New York, which means it’s summer, unlike in South America where it’s winter now. But it was a freak storm. Yup, that’s what it was, all right! A freak blizzard in August. And I had to walk. And milk some cows on the way home, too. They weren’t happy, what with my hands being so cold on account of the blizzard and all. So it took me a long time just to get a pint of milk. Because if I didn’t come home with the milk, I would have gotten in big trouble. Big trouble. So I had to get the milk, I just had to.

 

It was a really rough day.

When I finally got home, my feet were so tired from walking and I was really cold because I was just wearing shorts and a t-shirt, but that wasn’t really warm enough for the blizzard. So I had to build a fire, but, uh, the wood…it was…wet! Yeah, it was wet. So I had to dry it with my hair dryer and so I blew the fuse. And, uh, there weren’t any more fuses, so I didn’t have any, you know, um, power or, um, internet access. Nope. Not at all. So I think I’m just going to call it a day and finish the editing tomorrow. Oh yeah, after I get more fuses. Oh, how am I writing this now? Uh…I found someone’s phone? I mean, yes! I found someone’s iPhone and she said I could use it until she picks it up tomorrow. Yeah, that’s it! That’s the ticket!

9 thoughts on “The dog ate my homework.

  1. I’m sorry you’ve had so many “terrible” distractions. I hope you were able to gleen some fun from their “horribleness.” That blizzard waterfall looks just “awful,” PS-I think you may have been trying to milk a bull! :)

  2. Pingback: “O Fortune, Fortune! all men call thee fickle…” | As a Linguist…

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